Mu' meneen Brothers and Sisters,

As Salaam Aleikum wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakatuh.  (May Allah's Peace, Mercy and Blessings be upon all of you)

One of our brothers/sisters has asked this question:

salam,
1. my first question is that how can i escape from doing bad things means when im free i watch bad movies how can i avoid that ?

2.masturbing is haram???? if haram how can i avoid that?

3. making a girlfriend without any sexual relationship allowed in islam or not

please reply as early as possible 

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Answer:

How to avoid masturbation

In the name of Allah, We praise Him, seek His help and ask for His forgiveness. Whoever Allah guides none can misguide, and whoever He allows to fall astray, none can guide them aright. We bear witness that there is no one (no idol, no person, no grave, no prophet, no imam, no dai, nobody!) worthy of worship but Allah Alone, and we bear witness that Muhammad (saws) is His slave-servant and the seal of His Messengers.

Q-1A: my first question is that how can i escape from doing bad things

Allah Says in the Holy Quran Chapter 4 Surah Nisaa verse 28:

28 ….. for man was created weak.

Allah Says in the Holy Quran Chapter 12 Surah Yusuf verse 53:

53 (Prophet Yusuf said) …"Nor do I absolve my own self (of blame): the (human soul) is certainly prone to evil unless my Lord do bestow His Mercy: but surely certainly my Lord is Oft-Forgiving Most Merciful."

Sahih Muslim Hadith 6778 Narrated by Anas ibn Malik

The Messenger of Allah (saws) said: ‘Paradise is surrounded by hardships and the Hell-Fire is surrounded by temptations.’

Sunan of Abu-Dawood Hadith 4726 Narrated by Abu Hurayrah

The Messenger of Allah (saws) said: ‘When Allah created Paradise, He said to Jibrael: ‘Go and look at it.’ He (Jibrael) went and looked at Paradise, then came and said: O my Lord! By Thy Might, no one who hears of it will fail to enter it! Allah then surrounded Paradise with disagreeable things, and said: ‘Go and look at it (now), O Jibrael!’ He (Jibrael) went and looked at it, then came and said: ‘O my Lord! By Thy Might, I am afraid that no one will (be able) enter it!’ When Allah created Hell, He said: ‘Go and look at it, O Jibrael.’ He (Jibrael) went and looked at Hell Fire, then came and said: ‘O my Lord! By Thy Might, no one who hears of it will (want to) enter it.’ Allah then surrounded Hell Fire with desirable things (temptations) and said: ‘Go and look at it (now), O Jibrael!’ He (Jibrael) went, looked at it, then came and said: O my Lord! By Thy Might and Power, I am afraid that no one will remain who does not enter it!’

Beloved brother in Islam, it is the very nature of mankind that he is created weak and a part of his soul always incites him towards evil and bad deeds; and it is this constant struggle to control and overcome this constant incitement of his soul towards evil and bad deeds is the test and trial that the Lord Most High has involved man in!

The ones who choose to fear Allah, control their souls from illegal temptations and lower desires, and of their own choice submit their will to the Will of their Lord, will pass the test ordained by their Lord; and the ones who choose to run after illegal temptations, and refuse to submit their will to the Will of their Creator will miserably fail their ordained test of life.

Allah Says in the Holy Quran Chapter 79 Surah Naziat verses 34-41:

34 Therefore when there comes the Great Overwhelming (Event, ie: The Day of Judgment!)

35 The Day when Man shall remember (all) that he strove for

36 And Hell-Fire shall be placed in full view for (all) to see

37 Then for such as had transgressed all bounds

38 And had preferred the life of this world

39 Their Abode will be Hell-Fire;

40 And for such as had entertained the fear of standing before their Lord's (tribunal) and had restrained (their) soul from Lower Desires

41 Their Abode will be the Garden.

The one and only thing that when developed and nourished with care, which will help one abstain from being a slave to his temptations and evil deeds, and inspire one towards good deeds and the Mercy and Rewards of the Lord Most Merciful is what is known in Quranic terms as ‘taqwa’.

To develop ‘taqwa’ or ‘fear’ of Allah’, the absolute first thing one needs to do is to recognize who exactly is his Lord and Creator, why has He created everything in existence, why has He created you on this earth, what deeds are Pleasing to Him, what deeds bring about His Wrath and Anger, what exactly are His Rewards promised for His righteous and obedient slaves, and what punishments await those who deny and disobey Him?

And the absolute best way to recognize one’s Lord Creator and the substance of one’s short test of life in this transient world is to read, understand, obey, follow and completely submit to the Blessed and Noble Message revealed for our guidance by our Lord Most Merciful, Most Gracious.

Allah Says in the Holy Quran Chapter 2 Surah Baqarah verses 2-5”

2 This (Quran) is the Book; in it is guidance sure without doubt to those who have ‘taqwa’.

This state of consciousness of standing in the Presence of the Majestic and Supreme Lord One Inevitable Day is what Allah calls ‘taqwa’ or piety in His Quran; and it is this ‘taqwa’ alone which can inspire one towards doing deeds that would earn him the the Eternal Pleasure and Good Will of the Lord, and it is this same ‘taqwa’ which will inspire one to abstain from doing anything which would bring about His Unbearable Wrath and Anger.

Taqwa means to abstain from doing anything that would bring about the Wrath and Displeasure of the Lord All-Mighty; and to do deeds of righteousness which are commanded by Allah and His Messenger (saws). Taqwa is to live every moment of ones life with the solemn belief that One Inevitable Day every soul will be brought forth in the Presence of the Majestic Lord to give a full accounting of on his deeds. Taqwa is to determine before doing anything whether the Lord Most Merciful will be Pleased or Dis-pleased with the deed; if one determines that the Lord will be pleased with the deed, he must do it wholeheartedly; and if one determines that the deed would bring about the displeasure and Wrath of Allah Subhanah, he must immediately abstain from it. Taqwa is to live every moment of one’s life consciously striving to do deeds which would earn him the Pleasure and Good Will of the Lord Most Merciful, and abstain from doing deeds which would bring about His displeasure and Wrath.

If one studies the Glorious Quran, one would realize that more often than not, wherever Allah Subhanah Promises His slaves the Eternal Gardens of Paradise, the manifestation of the term ‘taqwa’ is almost always associated with it!

Allah Says in the Holy Quran Chapter 3 Surah Ale Imraan verse 133:

133 Be quick in the race for forgiveness from your Lord and for a Garden whose width is that (of the whole) of the heavens and of the earth; prepared for the ‘Muttaqeen’ (those who have ‘taqwa’).

Allah Says in the Holy Quran Chapter 50 Surah Qaaf verses 31-33:

31 And the Garden will be brought nigh to the ‘Muttaqeen’, no more a thing distant.

32 (A voice will say:) "This is what was promised for you, for everyone who turned (to Allah) in sincere repentance who kept (his law).

33 "Who feared (Allah) Most Gracious unseen and brought a heart turned in devotion (to Him):

Allah Says in the Holy Quran Chapter 52 Surah Tur verses 17-18:

17 As to the ‘Muttaqeen’ they will be in Gardens and in Happiness

18 Enjoying the (Bliss) which their Lord hath bestowed on them and their Lord shall deliver them from the Penalty of the Fire.

Allah Says in the Holy Quran Chapter 68 Surah Qalam verse 34:

34 Verily for the ‘Muttaqeen’ are Gardens of Delight in the Presence of their Lord.

Allah Says in the Holy Quran Chapter 16 Surah Nahl verse 31:

31 Gardens of Eternity which they will enter: beneath them flow (pleasant) rivers: they will have therein all that they wish: thus doth Allah reward the ‘Muttaqeen’

Allah Says in the Holy Quran Chapter 25 Surah Furqan verses 15-16:

15 Say: "Is that (fire) better or the eternal Gardens promised to the ‘Muttaqeen’? For them that is a reward as well as a goal (of attainment).

16 For them there will be therein all that they wish for: they will dwell (there) for aye: a promise to be prayed for from thy Lord."

Thus, in conclusion, my dear and beloved brother in Islam, I remind you and I remind myself, the absolute best way to bring about his reformation in our hearts is to get close to the Remembrance of our Lord Who Created us; and the best way to Remember our Lord is to read, understand, obey, follow and completely submit ourselves to His Glorious Message which He Himself revealed for our guidance, The One and Only Glorious and Noble Quran!

It is only and only this ‘taqwa’ or the constant remembrance and fear of the standing in the Lord’s Tribunal on an Inevitable Day can inspire man towards abstention of evil and inspire man to do good deeds!

Q-1B: how can i escape from doing bad things means when im free i watch bad movies how can i avoid that ?

My dear and beloved brother in Islam, nothing, and I reiterate nothing in this universe can genuinely and continuously stop one from doing any evil deed other than ‘taqwa’ - the constant remembrance and fear of Allah Subhanah.

Q-2: masturbing is haram???? if haram how can i avoid that?

The act of masturbation is prohibited in Islam and a sin in the sight of Allah Subhanah; thus the believers must absolutely abstain from this evil and heinous act.

Allah says in the Holy Quran Chapter24 Surah Noor verse 30:

O Prophet, enjoin the believing men to restrain their gaze, and guard their private parts. This is a more righteous way for them. Allah has knowledge of whatever they do.

Allah has commanded the believers to lower their gaze, and guard their chastity. This is a more righteous way for them. The act of ‘zina’ (fornication or adultery) is a great sin in Islam. The Prophet(saws) warned the believers against committing ‘zina’ of the eyes, ‘zina’ of the feet, ‘zina’ of the hands, etc. If one’s eyes are constantly watching sexual movies, magazines, etc. it would be considered ‘zina’ of the eyes. If one goes to the place to commit ‘zina’ or to the place of sexual movies, magazines, etc., it would be considered ‘zina’ of the feet. Similarly, the act of masturbation, could be considered a ‘zina’ of the eyes, or hands, etc. It is a sin and an evil act, and must be avoided by the believers.

Q-2B: how can i avoid that?

Sahih Al-Bukhari Hadith 7.4 Narrated by Abdullah

We were with the Prophet (saws) while we were young and had no wealth whatever. So Allah's Messenger (saws) said, "O young people! Whoever among you can marry, should marry, because it helps him lower his gaze and guard his modesty (i.e. his private parts from committing illegal sexual intercourse, etc.), and whoever is not able to marry, should fast, as fasting diminishes his sexual power."

Thus if one is unable to control his sexual desire, he should get married, rather than get involved in committing sins like masturbation and ‘zina’ (fornication or adultery). And if one is unable to marry, he should fast, as the Messenger of Allah (saws) says, that fasting reduces the person’s sexual desire, and thus help the believer to stay away from committing sin.

‘Fahesha’ or indecency is one of the strongest weapons of the accursed enemy of man, the Shaitaan; who has sworn to mislead and misguide mankind from the Straight Path of Allah Subhanah.

Allah says in the Holy Quran Chapter 2 Surah Baqarah verse 268:

The Shaitaan threatens you with poverty and prompts you to adopt indecency (or acts of shamelessness). Allah promises you His Forgiveness and Bounties, and Allah cares for all, and He knows all things.

The only thing that can stop one from acts of indecency, or intentionally disobeying any command of Allah and His Messenger (saws); is the constant fear and consciousness that One Inevitable Day, everyone will be brought forth in the Presence of the All-Mighty Lord to give a full accounting of one’s deeds.

The first thing one needs to do, when he realizes that he has disobeyed any command of Allah and His Messenger (saws), is to immediately turn to the Merciful Lord and seek His Forgiveness and Pardon, and make a solemn covenant that he will not repeat the mistake again. When Shaitaan again tries to prompt the person to disobey the Merciful, the believers must immediately realize the play of Shaitaan, seek refuge in Allah from the accursed Shaitaan, remember the covenant he has made with His Lord, and abstain from doing any deed that will bring about the Wrath and Anger of Allah Subhanah.

Allah Says in the Holy Quran Chapter 7 Surah Aaraaf verses 200-201:

200 If a suggestion from Shaitaan assail thy (mind), seek refuge with Allah; for He Heareth and Knoweth (all things).

201 Those who fear Allah, when a thought of evil from Shaitaan assaults them, bring Allah to remembrance; when lo! they see (aright)!

As soon as one feels the desire, or the avowed enemy of man, the Shaitaan suggests the person to transgress any of the boundaries of Allah Subhanah; the believers should immediately seek the refuge and protection of the All-Mighty Lord from the accursed Shaitaan by saying: “Aoodobillahe minas Shaitaan ar rajeem”. If the person is sincere in seeking refuge and protection, Allah Subhanah will protect him from the assaults of Shaitaan.

Some other things the believers may do on such a stage is do the ‘wudu’, offer prayers, or recite the 113^th and 114^th Surahs of the Quran (Surah Falaq and Surah Naas) and seek protection from the accursed Shaitaan.

The long-term remedy for keeping the Shaitaan at bay, is to constantly remember Allah Subhanah, seek and stay in the company of the righteous, recite the Quran, read good Islamic Books, listen to good Islamic cassettes and lectures, and strive to stay away from being in solitude.

If one is constantly in the face of non-mehram women, or if one regularly watches commercial television and movies, or regularly reads commercial magazines, etc. where ill-clad women are constantly portrayed; there is a greater chance the person will be swayed by the suggestions of Shaitaan towards ‘fahisah’ and indecency. If one strives to abstain from these devices of Shaitaan, and makes efforts to remain close to the Remembrance and Guidance of Allah Subhanah, he will be successful in muting the ploys of the Shaitaan.

Allah Says in the Holy Quran Chapter 7 Surah Aaraaf verse 27:

O ye children of Adam! Let not Shaitaan seduce you in the same manner as he got your parents (Adam and Hawwa) out of the Garden, stripping them of their raiment to expose their shame: for he and his tribe watch you from a position where ye cannot see them: We made the evil ones friends (only) to those without faith.

Q-3: making a girlfriend without any sexual relationship allowed in islam or not

Al-Tirmidhi Hadith 3118 Narrated by Umar ibn al-Khattab

The Prophet (saws) said, "Whenever a man is alone with a (non-mehram) woman, the Shaytaan makes a third."

Contrary to popular belief, Islam guides that there is absolutely no such thing as a platonic (non-sexual) relationship between a man and a woman who are non-mehrams. Developing any kind of casual relationship with a non-mehram member of the opposite sex is absolutely prohibited in Islam and a sin in the Sight of Allah Subhanah.

If one trusts, obeys, and follows the guidance and commands of Allah and His Messenger (saws), one can be assured of never ever being misled; but if one believes, obeys and follows any other guidance, other than that of Allah and His Messenger (saws), one can be assured of being led astray.

Whatever written of Truth and benefit is only due to Allah’s Assistance and Guidance, and whatever of error is of me alone. Allah Alone Knows Best and He is the Only Source of Strength.

Your brother and well wisher in Islam,

Burhan