My question is regarding the duties of a wife towards her husband
Mu' meneen Brothers and Sisters,
As Salaam Aleikum wa Rahmatullahi wa
Barakatuh. (May Allah's Peace, Mercy and Blessings be upon all of you)
One of our brothers/sisters has asked
this question:
Brother
my question is regarding the duties of a wife towards her husband. I had
various conversations about this but finally I think I should ask you for a
better answers of the following questions.
- Does cooking, washing and
cleaning of a house etc. comes in duties as well.
- If both are working, who is
more responsible for children education and their needs.
- Is husband only responsible
for earning money.
May
Allah help us all in understanding what are our responsibilities towards each
other.
Allah Hafiz
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errors in the above statement. The forum does not change anything from
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confidentiality.)
Answer:
Duties of Husband Wife in Marriage
In the name of Allah, We praise Him, seek His help and ask
for His forgiveness. Whoever Allah guides none can misguide, and whoever
He allows to fall astray, none can guide them aright. We bear witness that
there is no one (no idol, no person, no
grave, no prophet, no imam, no dai,
nobody!) worthy of worship but Allah Alone, and we bear witness that
Muhammad (saws) is His slave-servant and the seal of His Messengers.
Your
Question-1: Does cooking, washing and
cleaning of a house etc. comes in duties as well.
Allah Says in the Holy Quran Chapter 4 Surah
Nisaa verse 34:
34
Men are the
protectors and maintainers of women because Allah has given the one more than the other, and because
they support them from their means.
Therefore the righteous women are devoutly obedient and guard in (the
husband's) absence what Allah would have them guard (their chastity, their
husband’s honor, property, etc.)
The complete, and I repeat complete responsibility of the
upkeep and maintenance of the house and the family is the responsibility and
duty of the men in Islam. It is the
responsibility and duty of the men in Islam to protect and maintain the women,
and the heavy and weighty responsibility the Lord has laid upon the women is
that they are to remain devoutly obedient to their husbands and guard in their
husband’s absence what the Lord would have them guard…ie. their chastity, their
husband’s property, his honor, etc.
It is the responsibility of the men in Islam to make sure
that food is provided to the womenfolk in their care, that clothing is provided
for them, that a place is provided for them to reside in, etc.; thus in
essence, the cooking, washing, and cleaning of the house is the duty and
responsibility of the men in Islam and not the women.
But if the women, of her own free will and as a gesture of
good-will, wishes to cook, wash and clean the house, etc.; it would be amongst
the ‘ehsaan’ or something over and above her role and duty that she does, thus
the husband should be grateful to her and be appreciative for her help and
favor. If the woman does not will to
cook, wash and clean, the husband is obliged to either do it himself or provide
a servant for this maintenance to be done and performed for the upkeep and
maintenance of his house and family.
The Lord Most Gracious has created the woman as a ‘princess’
and made the men as her protectors and maintainers; it is the duty and
responsibility of the father to feed, clothe and house her from her birth until
she marries; then by her husband until he dies; then by her sons until she
dies! Thus from her birth to her death,
it is the duty and responsibility of the men to maintain and provide for their
womenfolk in Islam.
Your
Question-2: If both are working, who is more responsible for children education
and their needs.
There is absolutely no harm or restriction if the woman
wishes to work, provided all the laws of Shariah are honored. The money she earns from her work belongs to
the woman, and she is not required to spend even a cent of her wealth on the
upkeep of the house or the family; this is her money and she may do with it
whatever she wills and pleases. If she
pleases to help her husband with her wealth, it would be over and above the
role and duty laid upon her by her Lord; thus the husband should be grateful
and appreciative of her.
The complete financial responsibility for the maintenance
of the children is upon the shoulders of the husband in Islam alone; but it
would be the responsibility of both parents that the emotional and spiritual
needs of the children are fulfilled, regardless of whether one or both amongst
the parents work.
Your
Question-3: Is husband only responsible for earning money.
Allah Says in the Holy Quran Chapter 4 Surah
Nisaa verse 34:
Men are the
protectors and maintainers of women because Allah has
given the one more than the other, and because they support them from their
means.
Although the complete financial responsibility in running
the household is the prime duty and responsibility of the husband in Islam, it
is also his responsibility to take measures to maintain and protect his family
to the absolute best of his ability. Basically the husband is responsible to
fulfill every aspect and need of his family in Islam.
The Prophet (saws) said, "Everyone of
you is a guardian and everyone of you is responsible (for those under your
ward). A ruler is a guardian and is responsible (for his subjects); a man
is a guardian of his family and responsible (for them); a wife is a
guardian of her husband's house and she is responsible (for it), a slave is a
guardian of his master's property and is responsible (for that). Beware! All of
you are guardians and are responsible (for your wards)."
My dear and beloved brother, the above are the direct
answers according to Islamic Law for your questions; but the sacred institution
of marriage in Islam is not a union between two people who compete against each
other, but rather a marriage in Islam is a union between two people who complement
each other in their partnership, who develop and maintain the love and mercy
between them that Allah Subhanah has created for them in their marriage, and
strive together as a team to live a life of peace, harmony and tranquility
under the guidance of Allah.
Allah Says in the Holy Quran Chapter 30 Surah
Rome verse 21:
21 And among His Signs is this that He created for you mates from among
yourselves that ye may dwell in tranquillity with them and He has put
love and mercy between your (hearts); verily in that are Signs for
those who reflect.
If one truly seeks guidance in one’s marriage, there is no
better recipe for peace, harmony and tranquility in one’s relationship with
one’s spouse in marriage than the guidance of Allah and His Messenger (saws).
The Prophet (saws) said: ‘The most perfect
Muslim in the matter of faith is one who has excellent behaviour; and the best
among you are those who behave best towards their wives.’
Allah's Messenger (saws) said, "The best
of you is he who is best to his family, and I am the best among you to my
family."
Sahih Muslim Hadith 3465 Narrated by Abdullah ibn Amr ibn al-'As
Allah's Messenger (saws) said: ‘The whole
world is a provision, and the best object of benefit of the world is the pious
woman.’
Sahih Muslim Hadith 3469 Narrated by
Allah's Messenger (saws) said: ‘a believing
man should not hate a believing woman (his wife); if he dislikes one of her
characteristics, he will be pleased with another.
The Prophet (saws) said, "One who treats
badly those under his authority will not enter
When Allah's Messenger (peace be upon him)
was asked which woman was best he replied, "The one who pleases (her
husband) when he looks at her, obeys him when he gives a command, and does not
go against his wishes regarding her person or property by doing anything of
which he disapproves."
The Prophet (saws) said: ‘Had it been
permissible that a person may prostrate himself before another, I would have
ordered that a wife should prostrate herself before her husband.’
The Prophet (saws) said:’When a man sends for
his wife for the satisfaction of his need, she should go to him even if she may
be occupied in baking bread.’
The Prophet (saws) said: ‘If a woman dies
while her husband was pleased with her, she will enter
If one trusts, obeys, and follows the guidance and
commands of Allah and His Messenger (saws),
one can be assured of never ever being misled; but if one believes, obeys and follows any
other guidance, other than that of Allah and His Messenger (saws), one can be
assured of being led astray.
Whatever written of Truth and benefit is only due to
Allah’s Assistance and Guidance, and whatever of error is of me alone. Allah Alone Knows Best and He is the Only
Source of Strength.
Your brother and well wisher in
Islam,
Burhan
Wister