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I am due to get married soon. my family would be planning to hold hena party.

Mu' meneen Brothers and Sisters,

As Salaam Aleikum wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakatuh.  (May Allah's Peace, Mercy and Blessings be upon all of you)

 

One of our brothers/sisters has asked this question:

Salam,

My question is about wedding customs. i am due to get married soon. my family would be planning to hold hena party. This will involve me sitting on a decorative stage and having a mixed (male and female) audience (guests) sitting right in front of me. Guests (both male and female) from the audience will feed me sweets and put turmeric on my hand. There will also be a camera man recording the whole event.


I am aware that this sort of arrangements are sinful and not encourged in islam. I myself, do not want go through such customs.


However, i feel that i will not be listened to. This is because, although i have reverence for religion, it is not so apparent, i.e. i still haven`t started wearing hijab (which is a mark of obvious religiousness) and people tend to judge on the basis of appearance, thus often fail to look beyond.


Could you please comment on the above so that i could show your reply to my family and perhaps this will make them think differently. In this particular case, the feeling is that if you don`t do it big, then people might think that something is wrong!


Please reply soon, as the day of the wedding is drawing near.


Regards 

 

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Answer:

 

Henna party marriage

In the name of Allah, We praise Him, seek His help and ask for His forgiveness. Whoever Allah guides none can misguide, and whoever He allows to fall astray, none can guide them aright. We bear witness that there is no one (no idol, no person, no grave, no prophet, no imam, no dai, nobody!) worthy of worship but Allah Alone, and we bear witness that Muhammad (saws) is His slave-servant and the seal of His Messengers.

 

Marriage in Islam is considered a happy and joyous occasion, and it is absolutely recommended and encouraged in Islam that the believers enjoy and celebrate this happy occasion through offering a feast, legal singing, the playing of legal music, application of adornment or beauty for the ladies, etc.


 

Al-Tirmidhi Hadith 3154 Narrated by Aisha

I had a girl of the Ansar whom I gave in marriage, and Allah's Messenger (saws) said, "Why do you not sing, Aisha, for this clan of the Ansar like singing?"

 

In formulating any legal celebration, the believers must be absolutely careful never to compromise these principles of Islam:

There can be absolutely no connotation of shirk

There must be no indecency or elements of fahisha in the celebrations

There must be no mixing of the sexes

One must not go over the top in ones spending

One cannot copy or imitate a celebration that is particular to the pagans

 

The application of henna or mehndi at the time of marriage is basically a cultural occasion and if any of the above principles of Islam are not violated, there is absolutely no harm if the believing women wish to celebrate marriage with the application of mehndi or henna.

 

But to make the application of mehndi into a particular and obligatory ritual and rasm of marriage, or to burden the bride or her family to foot the bill of a massive occasion where huge ball-rooms are booked, bands are employed to play popular and illegal string music, dancing or singing in the presence of non-mehram males is done, or where expensive jewelry and clothes are worn to outdo one another, etc., are absolutely against the guidance and teachings of moderation in Islam.

 

There is no harm in the legality or essence of the application of mehndi at a time of marriage; but how this application and celebration is done is what determines its legality in Islam.

 

Your Statements: This will involve me sitting on a decorative stage and having a mixed (male and female) audience (guests) sitting right in front of me. Guests (both male and female) from the audience will feed me sweets and put turmeric on my hand. There will also be a camera man recording the whole event.

Allah Says in the Holy Quran Chapter 24 Surah Noor verses 30-31:

30 Say to the believing men that they should lower their gaze and guard their modesty: that will make for greater purity for them: and Allah is well acquainted with all that they do.

31 And say to the believing women that they should lower their gaze and guard their modesty; that they should not display their beauty and ornaments except what (must ordinarily) appear thereof; that they should draw their veils over their bosoms and not display their beauty except to their husbands their fathers their husbands' fathers their sons their husbands' sons their brothers or their brothers' sons or their sisters' sons or their women or the slaves whom their right hands possess or male servants free of physical needs or small children who have no sense of the shame of sex; and that they should not strike their feet in order to draw attention to their hidden ornaments. And O ye Believers! Turn ye all together towards Allah that ye may attain Bliss.

 

Dear and Beloved Sister, if there are non-mehram males present in the gathering, it would not behove or befit a believing woman who sincerely believes in Allah and the Last Day to display her fineries and beauty amongst them.

 

There is absolutely no harm if the mehram blood relatives of the bride wish to feed you sweets or apply turmeric on your hand; but it would be absolutely against the principles of decency to allow a non-mehram male to feed or touch a believing woman.

 

Holding a wedding celebration where non-mehram males and females sit amongst each other, or where non-mehrams feed or touch other for any reason whatsoever is absolutely against the principles of decency in Islam.

 

Could you please comment on the above so that i could show your reply to my family and perhaps this will make them think differently. In this particular case, the feeling is that if you don`t do it big, then people might think that something is wrong!

 

My dear and beloved sister, you have to make up your mind and choose whether you wish to please Allah Subhanah your Lord, Creator and Sustainer.or you wish to please the people around you!

 

May Allah Subhanah guide you to make the decision that is Pleasing and Acceptable to Him.

 

Whatever written of Truth and benefit is only due to Allahs Assistance and Guidance, and whatever of error is of me alone. Allah Alone Knows Best and He is the Only Source of Strength.

 

Your Brother in Islam,

 

 

Burhan

 


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