Mu' meneen Brothers and Sisters,

As Salaam Aleikum wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakatuh.  (May Allah's Peace, Mercy and Blessings be upon all of you)

One of our brothers/sisters has asked this question:

is it a sin to fall in love or get involved in love before marriage? talking on phone and expressing care and atachment? is it not a sin then to marry anybody else other than loved? 

(There may be some grammatical and spelling errors in the above statement. The forum does not change anything from questions, comments and statements received from our readers for circulation in confidentiality.)

Answer:

Love before Marriage

In the name of Allah, We praise Him, seek His help and ask for His forgiveness. Whoever Allah guides none can misguide, and whoever He allows to fall astray, none can guide them aright. We bear witness that there is no one (no idol, no person, no grave, no prophet, no imam, no dai, nobody!) worthy of worship but Allah Alone, and we bear witness that Muhammad (saws) is His slave-servant and the seal of His Messengers.

Your Question: is it a sin to fall in love or get involved in love before marriage? talking on phone and expressing care and atachment?

Dear and Beloved Sister, love-hate, like-dislike, joy-sorrow, smile-weep, etc. are natural emotions of mankind! What determines virtue and sin is what one says or does when one experiences these natural emotions!

To love someone is a natural emotion, and there is absolutely no sin if one loves another person; it is what one does after one has fallen in love with that person which would determine whether it would be counted as a virtue and a good deed in the Sight of Allah or a sin!

If one falls in love, and informs one’s guardians that they love so and so, and requests them to sanctify their love in the sacred bond of marriage so that they may love each other for the rest of their lives would be counted as a virtue and a good deed in the Sight of Allah Subhanah.

Allah Says in the Holy Quran Chapter 5 Surah Maidah verse 5:

5 This day are (all) things good and pure made lawful unto you. The food of the People of the Book is lawful unto you and yours is lawful unto them. (Lawful unto you in marriage) are (not only) chaste women who are believers but chaste women among the People of the Book revealed before your time when ye give them their due dowers and desire chastity not lewdness nor secret intrigues. If anyone rejects faith fruitless is his work and in the Hereafter he will be in the ranks of those who have lost.

But if one falls in love, or tries to form an illicit relationship with a non-mehram member of the opposite sex, or strives to meet the person in secret and in private, and in their state of ‘love’ transgress the boundaries of Allah Subhanah before they are united in the sacred bond of marriage; then indeed it would constitute a huge sin in the Sight of Allah Subhanah.

Your Question: is it not a sin then to marry anybody else other than loved? 

Allah Says in the Holy Quran Chapter 30 Surah Rome verse 21:

21 And among His (Allah’s) Signs is this that He created for you mates from among yourselves, that ye may dwell in tranquillity with them; and He has put love and mercy between your (hearts); verily in that are Signs for those who reflect.

It is only natural that one would choose to marry whom one likes rather than he whom one dislikes! And Islam guides that it is one amongst the Signs of Allah Subhanah that He has put ‘love’ and ‘mercy’ between two people who commit themselves to be united in the sacred institution of marriage.

The act that determines a sin is if one transgresses the boundaries laid down by their Lord for His slaves. There is absolutely no harm if one likes someone and wishes to marry them; but if one strives to form an illicit relationship with that person, or strives to meet that person in private and engage in vain talk, etc., then it obviously opens the road or path to the abomination of ‘zina’ (fornication), and every act that opens up the path to this evil abomination of ‘zina’ would indeed constitute a grave sin in the Sight of Allah Subhanah!

Allah says in the Holy Quran Chapter 17 Surah Israa verse 32:

Do not even go near ‘zina’ (fornication or adultery) for it is a very indecent thing and a very evil way!

If one trusts, obeys, and follows the guidance and commands of Allah and His Messenger (saws), one can be assured of never ever being misled; but if one believes, obeys and follows any other guidance, other than that of Allah and His Messenger (saws), one can be assured of being led astray.

Whatever written of Truth and benefit is only due to Allah’s Assistance and Guidance, and whatever of error is of me alone. Allah Alone Knows Best and He is the Only Source of Strength.

Your brother and well wisher in Islam,

Burhan