Mu' meneen Brothers and Sisters,

As Salaam Aleikum wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakatuh.  (May Allah's Peace, Mercy and Blessings be upon all of you)

One of our brothers/sisters has asked this question:

Assalaamu Alaikum wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakatuh Dear Brother

Thank you for serving us by enlightening our heart. I have been told about you by a friend of mine and i told about this to my mother so she told me to approach you to ask whether she is wrong or right.

As my mother hates my father because he had an affair with a Srilankan(Christian Lady).

Once she forgived him for this he still repeated it with out her knowledge.You this affair started 3 years after thier marriage and my mother was 20 years.

For not only this my mother hates him he tells lies and act like going for prayer infront of others.She says and me too  never seen my father fasting. He goes to astrologers etc who predict . He also tells lies to much. He also drinks Alcohol in the house if he takes to much he also beats my mother and i have also seen my mother divorced.My father stares at ladies too much .My mother would have divorced him but there was nobody to look after my mother or sisters and they are growing too so is there any wrong in  hating my father.

I hope you understand and  my mother want your help too. Is there any wrong in Hating their own Husband thats what my mother want know. Please answer to my mother.

(There may be some grammatical and spelling errors in the above statement. The forum does not change anything from questions, comments and statements received from our readers for circulation in confidentiality.)

Answer:

Can one hate Husband

In the name of Allah, We praise Him, seek His help and ask for His  forgiveness. Whoever Allah guides none can misguide, and whoever He allows to fall astray, none can guide them aright. We bear witness that there is no one (no idol, no person, no grave, no prophet, no imam, no dai, nobody!) worthy of worship but Allah Alone, and we bear witness that Muhammad(saws) is His slave-servant and the seal of His Messengers.

The contract of marriage is considered a sacred bond in Islam. If one of the partners is involved in evil, the first thing the other partner in marriage should do is talk to the person and remind and warn him of the punishment of Allah Subhanah. If after sincere trying and warnings, the person doing the evil does not repent; then the partner has a legal right to separate and seek a divorce from such an evil person.

If the accusations of zina, having an affair, consuming intoxicants, going to astrologers, wife beating, etc. are true against the husband; it would be best if someone reminds the man of his duties towards his Lord and his life in the Hereafter, and warns him to fear the Wrath and Anger of Allah Subhanah on the people who do such evil deeds.

If the wife thinks that divorce will be inappropriate and detrimental to her and her children’s well-being, and decides to take the path of patience and bears the atrocities of her husband; and prays and supplicates Allah Subhanah to help her and make her trial easy for her; Allah Subhanah will give her a huge reward for her patience and for putting her trust in Him.

There is no sin on the wife for hating the evil in her husband; the complete sin will be borne by the husband who commits the evil deeds. But she must try her level best to always remind him and warn him of the Wrath and Anger of Allah Subhanah on the people who transgress the boundaries laid down by Allah and His Messenger (saws).

Please tell your mother not to depair of Allah’s Mercy; and tell her to be constant in her supplication to the Merciful Lord. If Allah Subhanah Wills, He may have mercy on the husband, and guide him to the Straight Path.

Allah says in the Holy Quran Chapter 2 Surah Baqarah verses 152-153:

152            Then do ye remember Me; I will remember you. Be grateful to Me, and reject not faith.

153            O ye who believe! Seek help with patient perseverance, and prayer: for Allah is with those who patiently persevere.

Whatever written of Truth and benefit is only due to Allah’s Assistance and Guidance, and whatever of error is of me. Allah Alone Knows Best and He is the Only Source of Strength.

Your Brother in Islam,

Burhan