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Pre-marriage counselling

Mu' meneen Brothers and Sisters,

As Salaam Aleikum wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakatuh.  (May Allah's Peace, Mercy and Blessings be upon all of you)


One of our brothers/sisters has asked this question:

As salamu alai kum wa rehmatullahi wa barakaatuhu,


Dear sheikh,

Im planning to marry a woman soon inshallah, Im satisfied with her deen and character and i think she is too with me. But she has so many other questions lined up for me that it drives me crazy, she asks me how i want to raise my kids, what i consider family interference, and a whole bunch of others. she wants to do some kind of pre-marital marriage counselling?


I told her rasoolALLAH or the sahaba never did this and I dont wanna do it too. but she explains me how islam is an open religion and this and that. Please advice me if I should go ahead with her request and sit and talk to her(with a mahram) about all these issues?

Note: she has been through a divorce only after being married for 5 months. I would appreciate if you dont post this on your website.

Jazakallah khayr


(There may be some grammatical and spelling errors in the above statement. The forum does not change anything from questions, comments and statements received from our readers for circulation in confidentiality.)




Pre-marriage counselling

In the name of Allah, We praise Him, seek His help and ask for His forgiveness. Whoever Allah guides none can misguide, and whoever He allows to fall astray, none can guide them aright. We bear witness that there is no one (no idol, no person, no grave, no prophet, no imam, no dai, nobody!) worthy of worship but Allah Alone, and we bear witness that Muhammad(saws) is His slave-servant and the seal of His Messengers.


Beloved brother in Islam, there is absolutely nothing in the Shariah that restricts two people who wish to get married seeking counsel with their elders or with people of knowledge. There are several instances in the authentic traditions of the Messenger of Allah (saws) whereby the companions would come and seek his guidance whether to marry a particular person or not.


It may be that she has some conditions which you might not be comfortable with, or you may have some expectation which she might not be able to deliver, etc. It should be understandable and natural considering that the lady has gone through a recent divorce that she wishes to satisfy her heart before taking a leap again. It would be best if these issues are addressed before one decides to marry, rather than find out after marriage. There is absolutely no restriction in Islam which prohibits such a discussion, provided it is done within the etiquettes and character of Islam.


Whatever written of Truth and benefit is only due to Allah’s Assistance and Guidance, and whatever of error is of me. Allah Alone Knows Best and He is the Only Source of Strength.


Your Brother in Islam,





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