Mu' meneen Brothers and Sisters,

As Salaam Aleikum wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakatuh.  (May Allah's Peace, Mercy and Blessings be upon all of you)

One of our brothers/sisters has asked this question:

Salam, about 3 years ago i got involved with a girl (at this time i was not very religious) and it got a bit serious. After this, my family found out and we had to stop seeing each other. My feelings are still very strong for her after 2 years of not seeing her regularly. She did not hesitate to have other boyfriends during this time. How can i get over this? I am considering marrying her but because she has now had other relationships (in excess of 5 to my knowledge, one of whom was my friend) i feel disgusted but at the same time my feelings are very strong for her. Am i permitted to marry such a person? In any case, is there a dua that i can pray to get over this evil feelings? May Allah reward you for your advice and may He guide us all. 

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Answer:

Marry girl who has boyfriends

In the name of Allah, We praise Him, seek His help and ask for His forgiveness. Whoever Allah guides none can misguide, and whoever He allows to fall astray, none can guide them aright. We bear witness that there is no one (no idol, no person, no grave, no prophet, no imam, no dai, nobody!) worthy of worship but Allah Alone, and we bear witness that Muhammad(saws) is His slave-servant and the seal of His Messengers.

Q-1: Am i permitted to marry such a person?

Allah Says in the Holy Quran Chapter 5 Surah Maidah verse 5: This day are (all) things good and pure made lawful unto you. The food of the People of the Book is lawful unto you and yours is lawful unto them. (Lawful unto you in marriage) are chaste women who are believers, but chaste women among the People of the Book revealed before your time, when ye give them their due dowers and desire chastity, not lewdness nor secret intrigues. If anyone rejects faith, fruitless is his work and in the Hereafter he will be in the ranks of those who have lost (all spiritual good).

Allah has guided and commanded the believers to marry chaste believing woman, who will be a source of love and comfort in the life of this world, and the Hereafter. If you are convinced that the woman has had physical relationships with other men, and she has not subsequently repented and amended her conduct; it would be better and purer to leave her alone and beseech Allah Subhanah to bless you with a chaste, believing wife who is best for you in the life of this world and the Hereafter.

Allah Says in the Holy Quran Chapter 24 Surah Nur verse 3: Let no man guilty of adultery or fornication marry any but a woman similarly guilty or an Unbeliever nor let any but such a man or an Unbeliever marry such a woman: to the Believers such a thing is forbidden.

But if you are convinced that the woman who had relationships in the past has repented and amended her conduct, there is no harm in marrying such a woman; for Allah Subhanah is very Merciful and Forgiving towards His believing slaves who seek His Forgiveness.

Q-2: is there a dua that i can pray to get over this evil feelings?

Allah Says in the Holy Quran Chapter 25 Surah Furqan verses 74-76: 74 (The true servants of the Merciful are:) And those who pray "Our Lord! Grant unto us wives and offspring who will be the comfort of our eyes, and give us (the grace) to lead the righteous."

75 Those are the ones who will be rewarded with the highest place in Paradise, because of their patient constancy; therein shall they be met with salutations and peace

76 Dwelling therein; how beautiful an abode, and place of rest!

Whatever written of Truth and benefit is only due to Allah’s Assistance and Guidance, and whatever of error is of me. Allah Alone Knows Best and He is the Only Source of Strength.

Your Brother in Islam,

Burhan