Husband declares apostasy
Mu' meneen Brothers and Sisters,
As Salaam Aleikum wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakatuh. (May Allah's Peace, Mercy and Blessings be upon all of you)
One of our brothers/sisters has asked this question:
I`m married with 2 kids and my husband was a non-muslim but converted and declares the testifications faith of Islam. However, he doesn`t practice the religion and my family and I did all we could to teach him and brought him to muslim community and gave him books to read about Islam. He shows no interest and when I confronted him about his belief in the religion, he said he does believes in it but doesn`t feel like practicing. I`m practicing alone. A divorce came thru my mind because I don`t want my children to grow up following his footstep but I don`t want my children to not have their biological father. What should I do? Please guide me in the path of Allah and the Quran teaching. I`m very confuse.
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Husband declares apostasy
In the name of Allah, We praise Him, seek His help and ask for His forgiveness. Whoever Allah guides none can misguide, and whoever He allows to fall astray, none can guide them aright. We bear witness that there is no one (no idol, no person, no grave, no prophet, no imam, no dai, nobody!) worthy of worship but Allah Alone, and we bear witness that Muhammad(saws) is His slave-servant and the seal of His Messengers.
Beloved sister in Islam, this is precisely why Allah Subhanah and His Messenger (saws) have made it haraam for the believing woman to marry a non-believing man! Unfortunately we live in times today, where to overcome the prescribed unlawful in marrying a non-muslim man, we take a short-cut route and ask the person to simply declare the testimony of faith verbally; for then the marriage becomes legal in the sight of Shariah. But if one has not done the due diligence before the marriage, and tried to circumvent the laws of Allah and His Messenger (saws) in any way; the complications are bound to surface at a later date.
As long as the husband does not openly declare his apostasy, he will be considered a muslim in the sight of Shariah, and the marriage will be considered legal. There is very little the wife can do now, except to humbly, politely and with extreme wisdom invite her husband to follow at least the basics or fundamentals of Islam. If after a period of time, the wife is convinced that her husband declared the shahaadah only to marry her and had absolutely no intention of being a true and practicing muslim; she is well within her rights, and there is absolutely no sin upon her, if she seeks and initiates divorce proceedings against him.
Allah Subhanah only guides those to the deen of Islam who ardently wish to be guided aright. The real problem occurred when the husband took the short-cut route to marriage by declaring the shahaadah; and what transpired was bound to happen if the laws of Allah and His Messenger (saws) were compromised in any way. Now the milk has been spilt, so to say; and there is nothing much the wife can do.
She basically has three options:
Bear the situation with patience and constantly beseech the Merciful Lord to guide her husband to Islam.
Humbly and politely and with extreme wisdom, try to talk to her husband about being a practicing muslim.
If nothing works, then it would better and purer for the woman to seek and initiate divorce proceedings against such a man.
We understand the situation of the believing woman that she naturally does not want to break her family, and grow up her children without their biological father. If she accepts and bears the current situation with patience, there is always a chance that the believing woman, and especially the children might be put into a trial in practicing their deen. And if she seeks a divorce, the family will split and the children will have to grow up without their biological father!
Allah Says in the Holy Quran Chapter 9 Surah Taubah verses 23-24:
23 O ye who believe! Take not for protectors your fathers and your brothers if they love infidelity above faith: if any of you do, so they do wrong.
24 Say: If it be that your fathers, your sons, your brothers, your mates, or your kindred; the wealth that ye have gained; the commerce in which ye fear a decline; or the dwellings in which ye delight are dearer to you than Allah or His Messenger, or the striving in His Cause; then wait until Allah brings about His decision: and Allah guides not the rebellious.
Whatever decision the believing woman makes, she must make sure never ever to compromise on the issue if it effects the outcome of the Everlasting and Eternal life of the Hereafter.
May Allah Subhanah make the trial easy for our sister-in-faith, help her, guide her, have Mercy on her, and give her the courage and the wisdom to make the right decision which is good for her in the life of this world and the Hereafter.
Whatever written of Truth and benefit is only due to Allahs Assistance and Guidance, and whatever of error is of me. Allah Alone Knows Best and He is the Only Source of Strength.
Your Brother in Islam,