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Obey parents or break relations

Mu' meneen Brothers and Sisters,

As Salaam Aleikum wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakatuh.  (May Allah's Peace, Mercy and Blessings be upon all of you)



One of our brothers/sisters has asked this question:

I am a 20 year old boy. Should I not talk to my cousin brother because my father doesnt like him and asks me not to talk to him because of his gruge against some of his family? 


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Obey parents or break relations

In the name of Allah, We praise Him, seek His help and ask for His forgiveness. Whoever Allah guides none can misguide, and whoever He allows to fall astray, none can guide them aright. We bear witness that there is no one (no idol, no person, no grave, no prophet, no imam, no dai, nobody!) worthy of worship but Allah Alone, and we bear witness that Muhammad (saws) is His slave-servant and the seal of His Messengers.


Allah has commanded the believers to be kind, respect, honor and obey their parents.

Allah says in the Holy Quran Chapter 17 Surah Bani Israel verses 23-24:Your Lord has enjoined the following: You should not worship anyone but Him Alone! Treat your parents with great kindness; if either or both of them attain old age, do not even say uff to them; nor rebuke them; but speak to them kind words. Treat them with humility and tenderness and pray, O our Lord, be merciful to them, just as they brought me up with kindness and affection in my childhood.


Allah has also commanded the believers to never ever sever relationships which Allah has made for them; for it is indeed a big sin if one does so.


Thus if your father does not allow you to meet your cousin, because your cousin is an evil person and has a bad character, which will harm you and/or take you away from the Path of Allah; then it is your duty to obey your father and distance yourself from your cousin if you cannot convince your cousin to straighten himself. But under no circumstances are you to break the relationships which Allah has made for you, for it is indeed a grave sin in the sight of Allah.


But if your cousin is a good and righteous person, and the only reason your father commands you to break relations with him is because of some personal grudge, then it is not right. You must try to convince your father and your cousin to patch their differences and solve their issues in an amicable way.


Allah says in the Holy Quran Chapter 49 Surah Hujaraat verses 10:The believers are the brothers of one another; so set the relations right between your brethren and fear Allah. It is expected that you will be shown Mercy.


But even after all your tries and efforts, you are not able to convince your father to allow you to keep relations with your cousin; you are not allowed to ever break relationships which Allah has made for you, for that is indeed a grave sin in the sight of Allah Subhanah.


The Messenger of Allah said, One cannot disobey the command of the Creator on the orders of a created being.


Whatever written of Truth and benefit is only due to Allahs Assistance and Guidance, and whatever of error is of me. Allah Alone Knows Best and He is the Only Source of Strength.


Your Brother in Islam,





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