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Husband uses filthy language

Mu' meneen Brothers and Sisters,

As Salaam Aleikum wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakatuh. (May Allah's Peace, Mercy and Blessings be upon all of you)

One of our brothers/sisters has asked this question:

Assalamualaikum brother,
Im looking for a quick answer for my question from you.
Im married with a baby girl aged 1 1/2 years & also expecting another in about 4 months In Sha Allah......The question is, about my husband....He is a short tempered person & I came to know it after I married him.he gets angry for a slightest thing & when he gets angry he scolds me in filthy language....I have told him several times to stop this I mean to control his anger & also to stop using filthy language because Im concerened about my children,& he too have agreed that he wont do it...but again whenever he gets angry he repeats the same........sometimes he insults my parents & siblings too...I have had a very hardtime with him so far....very recently he got angry for a very small matter & insulted my parents,siblings & my relatives in a very bad way using filthy language which I have never heard before........& I could not take it anymore & told about this to my parents & they were very hurt as well.....Im thinking of being seperated with him for some time till he realizes what he did was a very big mistake......I have been very patient with him for more than 2 years....& now I dont have strength to take it anymore.....I want to know whether my decision is correct...I mean to be seperated for some time(we are living abroad & I want to be with my parents for sometime)
Please I need a quick reply

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In the name of Allah, We praise Him, seek His help and ask for His forgiveness. Whoever Allah guides none can misguide, and whoever He allows to fall astray, none can guide them aright. We bear witness that there is none worthy of worship but Allah Alone, and we bear witness that Muhammad (saws) is His slave-servant and the seal of His Messengers.

Al-Tirmidhi Hadith 1740        Narrated by Abdullah ibn Mas'ud

The Prophet (saws) said: ‘A believer does not taunt, curse, abuse or talk indecently.’


Respected Sister, it is prohibited for a believer to abuse or curse or taunt or talk indecently and such indecent and evil acts are absolutely and categorically prohibited for the believers at all times.


Allah Says in the Holy Quran Chapter 30 Surah Rome verse 21:

21      And among His Signs is this that He created for you mates from among yourselves that ye may dwell in tranquillity with them and He has put love and mercy between your (hearts); verily in that are Signs for those who reflect.


If one truly seeks guidance in one’s marriage, there is no better recipe for peace, harmony and tranquility in one’s relationship with one’s spouse in marriage than the guidance of Allah and His Messenger (saws).


Al-Tirmidhi Hadith 3252        Narrated by Aisha ; Abdullah ibn Abbas

Allah's Messenger (saws) said, "The best of you is he who is best to his family, and I am the best among you to my family."


Sahih Muslim Hadith 3465     Narrated by Abdullah ibn Amr ibn al-'As

Allah's Messenger (saws) said: ‘The whole world is a provision, and the best object of benefit of the world is the pious woman.’


Sahih Muslim Hadith 3469     Narrated by Abu Hurayrah

Allah's Messenger (saws) said: ‘a believing man should not hate a believing woman (his wife); if he dislikes one of her characteristics, he will be pleased with another.


Al-Tirmidhi Hadith 285         Narrated by Abu Hurayrah

The Prophet (saws) said: ‘Had it been permissible that a person may prostrate himself before another, I would have ordered that a wife should prostrate herself before her husband.’


Al-Tirmidhi Hadith 284         Narrated by AbuAli Talq ibn Ali

The Prophet (saws) said: ‘When a man sends for his wife for the satisfaction of his need, she should go to him even if she may be occupied in baking bread.’


Al-Tirmidhi Hadith 286         Narrated by Umm Salamah

The Prophet (saws) said: ‘If a woman dies while her husband was pleased with her, she will enter Paradise.’


Amongst the obligatory rights that are due from a husband to his wife in marriage are that he honor her, love her, cherish her, be kind, generous and merciful towards her, protect her, and provide for her complete upkeep according to his means.


Allah Says in the Holy Quran Chapter 4 Surah Nisaa verse 34:

34   Men are the protectors and maintainers of women because Allah has given the one more than the other, and because they support them from their means.  Therefore the righteous women are devoutly obedient and guard in (the husband's) absence what Allah would have them guard (their chastity, their husband’s honor, property, etc.)


Al-Tirmidhi Hadith 3358        Narrated by AbuBakr as-Siddiq

The Prophet (saws) said, "One who treats badly those under his authority (wife, children, servants, employees, etc.) will not enter Paradise."


Al-Tirmidhi Hadith 278         Narrated by Abu Hurayrah

The Prophet (saws) said: ‘The most perfect Muslim in the matter of faith is one who has excellent behaviour; and the best among you are those who behave best towards their wives.’


In return for everything the husband does for the wife in the sacred bond of marriage, the guidance of Islam commands and guides the wife to be grateful and devoutly obedient to all the lawful wishes of her husband.


Al-Tirmidhi Hadith 3272        Narrated by Abu Hurayrah

When Allah's Messenger (peace be upon him) was asked which woman was best he replied, "The one who pleases (her husband) when he looks at her, obeys him when he gives a command, and does not go against his wishes regarding her person or property by doing anything of which he disapproves."


Sahih Al-Bukhari Hadith 1.28 Narrated by Ibn Abbas

The Prophet (saws) said: "I was shown the Hell-Fire and found that the majority of its dwellers were women who were ungrateful." It was asked, "Do they disbelieve in Allah? (or are they ungrateful to Allah?)” He (saws) replied, "They are not thankful to their husbands and are ungrateful for the favors done to them. Even if you were to do good to one of them all your life, when she seems some harshness from you, she will say, "I have never seen any good from you!"Sunan of Abu-Dawood Hadith 2173  Narrated by Abdullah ibn Umar

The Prophet (saws) said: ‘Of all the lawful acts’ the most detestable to Allah is divorce.’


Sunan of Abu-Dawood Hadith 2172  Narrated by Muharib

The Prophet (saws) said: ‘Allah did not make anything lawful more abominable to Him than divorce.’


As detestable and disliked divorce is in the Sight of Allah Subhanah, if a husband does not fulfill his due rights to his wife, or oppresses her wife without right, or the wife fears that she might not be able to live with her husband within the limits prescribed by Allah Subhanah, etc….the wife in Islam is well within her rights to seek permanent separation from her husband through the institution of divorce.


Allah Says in the Holy Quran Chapter 2 Surah Baqarah verse 229 (part):

…..If ye do indeed fear that they would be unable to keep the limits ordained by Allah there is no blame on either of them if she give something for her freedom (divorce). These are the limits ordained by Allah; so do not transgress them.  If any do transgress the limits ordained by Allah such persons wrong (themselves as well as others).


If the wife initiates a divorce for a strong and genuine reason/s, she would be blameless for the divorce taking place in the Sight of Allah Subhanah; but if a wife initiates a divorce for frivolous reason, indeed she will be held to severe account for breaking the sacred institution of marriage in the Court of Allah Subhanah.


Sunan of Abu-Dawood Hadith 2218  Narrated by Thawban

The Prophet (saws) said: ‘If any woman asks her husband for divorce without some strong reason, (even) the odour of Paradise will be forbidden to her!’

Whatever written of Truth and benefit is only due to Allahs Assistance and Guidance, and whatever of error is of me. Allah Alone Knows Best and He is the Only Source of Strength. Allah Alone Knows Best and He is the Only Source of Strength.

Your brother and well wisher in Islam,

Members of Islamhelpline

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