Assalumailakum Dear Brother...I would like to know that if a Bohri girl likes a Bohri boy who is living alone,financially not very well of but is a good person and is said to have good relations with other muslim brothers and if the girls parents are not agreeing to the match, then what is the couple supposed to do?The couple is also trying to speak to the parents about their decision and want their blessings.....if the parents dont agree can any other action be taken?
In the name of Allah, We praise Him, seek His help and ask for His forgiveness. Whoever Allah guides none can misguide, and whoever He allows to fall astray, none can guide them aright. We bear witness that there is no one (no idol, no person, no grave, no prophet, no imam, no dai, nobody!) worthy of worship but Allah Alone, and we bear witness that Muhammad(saws) is His slave-servant and the seal of His Messengers.
In Islam, both the man and the woman have been given a right by Shariah to choose their life-partners; and neither can be forced into a marriage which they do not agree upon.
And Islam also teaches that one should respect and obey their parents and elders. We must always understand and acknowledge that our parents and elders are always our well-wishers, and whatever steps or objections they raise in our lives, it is only because they care about our well-being and happiness.
But we must understand that marriage is not only the union of two individuals, but an union of two families. It is possible that the parents are mis-informed about you, and if you tried with patience and wisdom to make them understand; there is always the chance that they may change their position.
The one thing you must do at all times is pray to Allah Subhanah and supplicate Him sincerely that if this marriage is good for you in this world and the Hereafter, He should make it easy for you. And if this marriage is bad for you, then let it not happen at all. We must, as believers, always put our full trust in Allah; He Alone has the knowledge of the seen and the unseen, the past and the future, the good and the bad.
Allah says in the Holy Quran Chapter 2 Surah Baqarah verse 216:It may be that you dislike a thing and the same is good for you; and you love a thing and the same is bad for you. Allah knows but you do not know!
Try your best with wisdom and patience to convince your parents; put your full trust in the Power and Mercy of Allah; and then abide graciously with the will of Allah. If Allah wills that you marry the boy you have chosen, no power or might in the world will be able to stop it; and if Allah wills otherwise, no power or might can get the two of you married! Thus whatever you do, fear Allah, and put your full trust in Him.
Allah says in the Holy Quran Chapter 2 Surah Baqarah verse 186: And if My servants ask you, O Prophet, concerning Me, tell them that I am quite near to them. I hear and answer the prayer of the suppliant, when he calls on Me. So let them respond to My call and believe in Me. (Convey this to them), perhaps they may be guided aright!
Allah says in the Holy Quran Chater 40 Surah Mumin verse 60: And Your Lord says, “Call upon Me. I will answer your prayers. Those who disdain My worship on account of arrogance, shall certainly enter Hell in disgrace!”
Because Islam has allowed every man and woman to choose and approve their marriage partners, you could very well go to a ‘qadi’ and he can marry the two of you, even without the approval of the parents. Having said that, this step should be taken only in extreme circumstances.
We pray that Allah makes your trial easy for you.
Whatever written of Truth and benefit is only due to Allah’s Assistance and Guidance, and whatever of error is of me. Allah Alone Knows Best and He is the Only Source of Strength.
Your brother and well wisher in Islam,
Your brother and well wisher in Islam,