Mu' meneen Brothers and Sisters,
As Salaam Aleikum wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakatuh. (May Allah's Peace, Mercy and Blessings be upon all of you)
One of our brothers/sisters has asked this question:
Thanks for everything you are doing? The question is?
The Husband is a very good person but forces his wife to do forbidden sex. They have children also, now what should the wife do? If she does not act according to his husband wishes the husband says he will leave her. Best Regards
(There may be some grammatical and spelling errors in the above statement. The forum does not change anything from questions, comments and statements received from our readers for circulation in confidentiality.)
In the name of Allah, We praise Him, seek His help and ask for His forgiveness. Whoever Allah guides none can misguide, and whoever He allows to fall astray, none can guide them aright. We bear witness that there is no one (no idol, no person, no grave, no prophet, no imam, no dai, nobody!) worthy of worship but Allah Alone, and we bear witness that Muhammad (saws) is His slave-servant and the seal of His Messengers.
Brother, we request you to clarify what is meant by the term forbidden sex. Then we will be in a better position to give you a detailed answer.
The Messenger of Allah (saws) said in authentic narration that there should be no shame in asking anything in Islam.
The general rule is that a husband has some rights over his wife, and a wife has some rights over her husband. But Allah and His Messenger (saws) have the biggest right that their commands should be obeyed and followed. Thus if the husband is forcing the wife to commit an act, which is against the commands of Allah and His Messenger (saws), she is not to obey him.
There are many ways to solve this issue, which are short of separation. Firstly, she could talk to her husband and convince him that this act is against the commands of Allah and His Messenger (saws). If that does not help, then she could ask someone like her father or brother or close relative, or the husbands father or brother or close relative, or even a scholar in Islam, or the Imam of the mosque, to talk to her husband and make him understand that this act is against the commands of Allah and His Messenger (saws). Even after this, if the husband refuses to understand and still forces the wife to commit the act, only then should the wife ask for a separation. At all times, all the believers are commanded to fear Allah in whatever they do.
If you clarify the act which you claim is forbidden sex, then we might be in a better position of understanding on how to deal with the situation. Except for anal sex, and actual penetration during the wifes menses, almost everything is allowed between a husband and wife in Islam. Thus it all depends on what exactly is meant by the term forbidden sex.
Whatever written of Truth and benefit is only due to Allahs Assistance and Guidance, and whatever of error is of me. Allah Alone knows Best and He is the Only Source of Strength.
Your brother and well wisher in Islam,