Marraige without parent's permission
Mu' meneen Brothers and Sisters,
As Salaam Aleikum wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakatuh. (May Allah's Peace, Mercy and Blessings be upon all of you)
One of our brothers/sisters has asked this question:
As salaam alai kum brother Burhan, I've read your Q&A's on your website, and Alhumdullilah most of my questions are solved.JAZAKHALLAH KHAIR for doing such a noble job. I met a man who is married and has bunch of kids during my teenage. He fell in love with me and started manipulating my mind and convinced me to love him. Anyhow after a year, we feared Allah and decided to do Nikah( marriage) without my parent's permission in front of a qazi and 4 witnesses.( none of them was from my side)we got married, but we were living in our own houses seperately till now. I was very clear from the very beginning that I would never run away from my house and I always told him to try his best to convince my parent's at any cost. We are in relationship from past 6 years and I from my heart and soul I accepted him as my husband, now recently I informed my parents that this this........ thing happened, I loved him and I want to spend my life with him. Obviously, as any concern parent would react, they reacted in a negative way and then they started abusing and hitting me. My parent's are not EVEN ready to speak with him and he is not ready to come home and speak with them because he doesn't have any legal proof of our marriage and my parents can take him to court for this act. we are in an islamic country where marriage without parent's concern is not possible. Upon my parent's pressurising, he said TALAAQ thrice at one time just because he can't see me in trouble. 1. Is my marriage valid? 2. Did I got divorced? 3. We both love each other a lot, please pray for us and send any wazifa's or supplications which I can recite to convince my parents for him. 4. when Allah allows a man have 4 wives at a time, then why the world has a problem with them? 5. I'm in such a situation which I can't even express to anyone, everybody is thinking about theirselves no one is thinking about me, my dignity, morals and above all my respect(izzath). How can I convince my parents how? PLEASE HELP ME PLEASE HELP ME ... MY LIFE IS ON EDGE, I don't know wat to do jazakhALLAH khair please keep this as a secret question, if u don't mind.
(There may be some grammatical and spelling errors in the above statement. The forum does not change anything from questions, comments and statements received from our readers for circulation in confidentiality.)
In the name of Allah, We praise Him, seek His help and ask for His forgiveness. Whoever Allah guides none can misguide, and whoever He allows to fall astray, none can guide them aright. We bear witness that there is none worthy of worship but Allah Alone, and we bear witness that Muhammad (saws) is His slave-servant and the seal of His Messengers.
Sister, if you are living in a Muslim country then your nikah before a Qazi and two witnesses is enough for a marriage to be solemnized. Though the approval of a wali is necessary the nikah does not get invalidated.
First of all a Muslim woman has no business getting married without the express consent of her parents. She did not trust her parents and committed a grave sin by trusting a stranger. She violated all the rules of Islam by secretly meeting a non-mehram man for marriage.
To make matters worse you have taken an irrevocable divorce from your husband by making him declare it three times. A single divorce would have been sufficient. Now you can never marry him again till you marry another man and he divorces you or dies.
Sister see what a mess you have made of your life. All because you thought that the laws of Shariah were made for jest only. There is no one to blame except yourself. Sister there are no wazifas for sinful and wrong acts. Allah swt has allowed man to marry 4 times but not in secret. That permission has got nothing to do with you. The man can yet marry 4 times but he cannot marry you since he has divorced you 3 times all together.
Sister the sins have already been made, the divorces have also been irrevocably established. The only solution you have is to listen to your parents and do exactly what they say. They are your best well wishers even though at this time you might not agree. Marriage is but a sunnah but obedience to your parents is a fard. Convincing your parents is not even an option because legally and according to Shariah you cannot remarry your husband again.
So make sincere taubah and make as many supplications as you can to your Majestic Lord. InshaAllah He will make your trials easy and if you put your full trust in Him alone everything will just work out fine. You don't know what is good for you, but your Lord Creator is aware of all things. You tried your way and failed miserably now try His way and you will be InshaAllah successful.
Whatever written of Truth and benefit is only due to Allahs Assistance and Guidance, and whatever of error is of me. Allah Alone Knows Best and He is the Only Source of Strength. Allah Alone Knows Best and He is the Only Source of Strength.
Your brother and well wisher in Islam,
Members of Islamhelpline